Where Should We Begin?

Where Should We Begin? A game of stories by Esther Perel.

Share something

• joyful
• unforgettable
• from your younger POV
• close to your heart
• that gets you worked up
• you wouldn't tell your parents
• you wouldn't tell your coworkers
• you've never told anyone
• that's changed your worldview
• you've kept secret
• out of character
• risky
• heartbreaking
• naughty
• forbidden
• shocking
• nobody knows
• off the record
• heavy
• nostalgic
• provocative
• life-changing
• gutsy
• unbelievable
• embarrassing
• funny
• taboo
• awkward
• cringe-worthy

Pink triangles

• If my partner had an affair, I would …
• My family's attitude toward sex was …
• My favorite sex story to tell …
• In my latest fantasy I am …
• Monogamy is …
• I spend too much time …
• My beliefs about marriage have been most challenged by …
• My earliest memory of sexuality …
• I get bored during sex when …
• When I hear the word "forbidden", the first thing that comes to mind is …
• A text message I fantasize about sending …
• I feel most attractive when …
• I feel most erotic when …
• I think the concept of marriage is …
• I turn myself on by …
• The most memorable place I've had sex …
• My most embarrassing sexual mishap …
• During sex, the world melts away when …
• The most scandalous photo that could leak of me …
• The wildest sexual situation that I've ever been a part of …
• My most persistent sexual fantasy is …
• A sexual situation I've always wanted to try …
• A text message I fantasize receiving …
• In my family, sex is …
• My sexual education has some from …
• One thing I do to make sex more interesting …
• Sex is most interesting for me when …
• The difference between making love and having sex is …
• Between dom or sub, my preference is …
• When it comes to initating sex, I prefer …
• A kink I don't understand …
• A myth about sex I've had to dispel …
• A sexual dilemma I grapple with …
• I turn myself on by …
• I wish someone had told me … about sex
• If I caught my friend having an affair, I would …
• The weirdest place I've had sex …
• I'll never forget the time I was seduced by …
• A fantasy of mine I'm conflicted about …
• The most sensual experience I've had without having sex …
• My views about love changed when …
• My greatest power struggle is with …
• Today I care a lot less about …
• What I learned about love from my parents …
• When I look at a photo of my younger self …
• When I look in the mirror the first thing I see …
• Something about my culture I wish more people understood …
• Something people often misunderstand about me …
• A big taboo in my family is …
• The hardest lesson I've learned about love …
• Family gatherings bring up …
• I burned a bridge when I …
• I felt incredibly jealous when …
• I felt lonely when …
• I finally have some clarity about …
• I hope my kids never find out about the time …
• I need to let go of …
• I wish I would have spoken up when …
• Something I grew up thinking was normal but later found out wasn't …
• Something I pretend to know more about than I actually do …
• Something I want but haven't asked for …
• When I was younger I thought the world was …
• The kindest thing anyone has ever done for me …
• I'm most proud of my family for …
• If I could choose the way I'd die, I'd pick …
• Something I would like to change about the way I deal with conflict …
• A lie I've told about my sex life …
• My most cringe-worthy sexual memory …
• The best/worst post-coital moment I've experienced …
• The best/worst kiss I've ever had …
• My sex life was never the same after …
• The first time I masturbated …

Blue doorways

• The memory I wish I could erase …
• The hardest things to talk about in my family are …
• Something that I've been pretending is okay but isn't …
• Something that hurt but I didn't tell anyone …
• I haven't told anyone how I feel about …
• I need to fight harder for …
• I owe an apology to …
• A story that people tell about me that isn't true, but I don't correct …
• A time I changed my mind …
• A time I unintentionally hurt someone …
• I hope to be remembered for …
• I need to change …
• For me, money means …
• I owe a thank you to …
• I wish I had a second change at …
• A time I was mean to someone …
• A time I needed to admit I was wrong, but didn't …
• An experience that shaped who I am that few people know about …
• The person who challenges me the most …
• The message my broken heart needs to hear …
• Something that was stolen from me …
• I'm still feeling guilty about …
• An important value I draw from my culture …
• One of the things that is keeping me up at night …
• A risk I took that changed my life …
• The worst thing I've ever done to someone …
• The taste of power makes me …
• Something I believe but haven't said aloud …

Gray squares

• I spend too much time worrying about …
• I was never the same after …
• I wish everyone would forget about the time I …
• I wish I could get closure on …
• I would never forgive you if …
• I'll never apologize for the time …
• I'll never forget about the time I lied to …
• I'll never forget about being bullied by …
• I'm a control freak about …
• I'm envious of people who …
• I'm tempted to break my own rules when it comes to …
• I'm my own worst enemy when …
• I'm the most judgemental when it comes to …
• I've always been embarrassed about …
• I've been a poor friend to …
• I've been faking …
• I've forgotten how to …
• I've never shared the whole story about the time …
• If I could change something about the way I was raised, it would be …
• If I could whisper something in the ear of my younger self, I would say …
• If you want to make my skin crawl, tease me about …
• In my weirdest dream I am …
• It's hard for me to say yes to …
• It's hard for me to say no to …
• It's not lying when …
• My experience with death has been …
• My guilty pleasure is …
• I'm high-maintenance when it comes to …
• The part of my parents I'm most afraid of becoming is …
• The person I fear losing the most …
• The person who taught me the most about love …
• The person whose death I'm most afraid of …
• My relationship to my body is …
• The last lie I told was …
• The last person who pushed me over my edge …
• The last thing I looked at that I wasn't supposed to …
• The last time I cheated …
• The last time I doubted myself …
• The last time I felt lost …
• The last time I got lost in a great adventure …
• The last time I pretended to be someone I wasn't …
• The best gift I have ever received …
• I wish people would introduce me by talking about … rather than …
• Something I wish I had been told as a child …
• I would sell everything I have to be able to …
• The person who intimidates me most …
• A relationship I need to let go of …
• A lie I'm tempted to tell about myself …
• A mistake I'll never make again …
• A story about me that I hope my kids will tell …
• A person who doesn't know they've impacted my life is …
• A part of myself I need to break up with is …
• A blind spot I have is …
• A conversation I need to have with my parents …
• A conversation I need to have with my partner …
• A conversation I need to have with my friends …
• A conversation I need to have with myself …
• A decision someone else made that affected my whole life …
• A decision I've been avoiding …
• A dream I've never shared …
• A dream I've lost hope for …
• My story of heartbreak …
• The thing that makes me hard to live with …
• When I'm mad, I withhold my love by …
• A conversation I wish I could have again …
• A grudge I've been holding on to …
• A question I've always wanted to ask my partner/friends/parents …
• A secret I've kept from my partner/friends/parents …
• A story I tell about myself that isn't entirely true …
• A time I admitted I was wrong …
• A time I felt rejected …
• A time someone broke my trust …
• My most tenacious vice …

Orange slices

• I spend too much money on …
• I miss the days when I could …
• I make too big a deal about …
• A phone number I need to delete …
• A rule I secretly love to break …
• A scent that makes me nostalgic …
• A story I've told one too many times …
• A text message I regret sending …
• An important object I've lost …
• In my family, my role is …
• Boxers or briefs (and why) …
• Few people know I could talk for hours about …
• I can't believe I got away with …
• I have a questionable relationship with …
• I hope you never find out about the time …
• I lose all willpower when it comes to …
• I wish I could spend more money on …
• I wish I could still get away with …
• I wish I'd never seen …
• I would love to show … who I've become
• I would quit my job if you'd pay me to …
• Between hosting or being hosted, I prefer to …
• I'll never forget about the day …
• I'm feeling proud of …
• I'm irrational when it comes to …
• I'm most competitive when it comes to …
• I'm particularly stuborn about …
• I'm surprised I'm still alive after …
• I'm the most stressed-out about …
• I've always dreampt of being famous for …
• I've always wondered if it's normal to …
• If I could see into the future, I would want to know …
• If I were going to get fired tomorrow, it would be for …
• If I were stuck in my house for months, the three things I'd want by my side are …
• I I weren't working as a …, I would be …
• If I wrote a book, it's title would be …
• If you catch my by the fridge at night, I'm probably sneaking …
• In my recurring dream I am …
• Lately I've been getting better at …
• My latest crush is …
• My most irrational fear …
• No one understands my relationship to …
• Something my best friends know about me that no one else does …
• The book I recommend most often …
• The celebrity I'd want to play me in a movie …
• The last promise I broke was …
• The last time I cried …
• The last time I did something generous for someone …
• The last time I felt free …
• The last time I felt like an imposter …
• The last time I got caught …
• The last time I got unreasonably upset …
• The last time I made a fool of myself …
• The last time I pretended I wasn't crying …
• The last time I was worried that I might be/become a bad parent …
• The most humiliated I've ever felt …
• A major challenge I've overcome …
• A conversation I've been meaning to have …
• My favorite love story to tell …
• The most unexpected compliment I've received …
• The one who got away …
• The person I find most annoying …
• The thing I complain most about …
• The worst dinner party I've attended …
• When a friend is consistently late …
• When I notice myself getting older …
• When I was young, I would spend hours daydreaming about …
• When I'm sick, I want …
• When no one is watching, I …
• When someone can hear me going to the bathroom, I …
• In my family, the power lies with …
• At a party you'll find me …
• Something I wrongfully took credit for …
• A friendship I need to end …
• An item I've been holding on to for too long …
• The best/worst date I've ever been on …
• I'm proud I stood up for myself when …
• A time when I felt on top of the world …
• The best prank I've ever pulled off …